Episode Guide (Series 3)
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1: The Supremo Show (2 Jan 76)
Solly has gone back to England, leaving the Concert Party. The Colonel and the Captain are in hospital for a fortnight, so Sergeant Major Williams is in charge. He arranges for the men from the Concert Party to be posted 'up the jungle'.
Rangi Ram sneaks into the hospital to let the Colonel know what's happening. The Colonel orders BSM Williams to cancel the postings, telling him that a VIP will be paying a visit in a few days and the Conecert Party will have to put on a special show for him.
Gloria sprains his ankle during a rehearsal, so the Sergeant Major has to take his place - sitting on a swing, dressed as a woman.
2: Mind My Maharajah (9 Jan 76)
The Colonel gets a "top secret" phone call from GHQ Delhi. The life of a local Maharajah is threatened and the men from the Concert Party are assigned to protect him. The main suspect is one of the Maharajah's sons.
The men travel to the Maharajah's palace, supposedly intending to put on a show as part of his birthday celebrations. When they arrive, the Sergeant Major has to play snooker with the Maharajah, who cheats.
The Colonel and his men don't know which of the Maharajah's sons is going to attempt to kill him, so they're told to provide protection at all times. Lofty is given the job of acting as bodyguard.
This episode includes a "son with the gun or wife with a knife" joke, which Jimmy Perry later modified and used in a greatly expanded form in 'Allo 'Allo.
3: Bang Goes The Maharajah (16 Jan 76)
The Colonel thinks that any attempt on Maharajah's life is most likely during the show, so he decides that the performance should only last 10 minutes. The show goes ahead and, after several false alarms, ends without any attempt being made to kill the Maharajah.
That night, the bearer overhears two of the Maharajah's sons talking. It seems that there's a bomb in a snakepit near the Maharajah's bedroom. Gunner Lofty Sugden gets the job of going down into the pit to get the bomb. He finds a suitcase full of dynamite, which he stuffs into his clothing. The men begin to pull him up out of the pit. The fuse on one of the sticks of dynamite is lit accidentally by the candle Lofty is carrying. He gets stuck halfway up with the fuse still burning. The Sergeant Major goes down on another rope and pulls out the fuse.
The Maharajah appears and says that the dynamite is intended to be used in the construction of a new swimming pool. He also reveals that he isn't the Maharajah the men were supposed to be protecting. They've come to the wrong palace.
4: The Grand Illusion (23 Jan 76)
The men from the Concert Party are given a demonstration of the Indian rope trick. The trick involves hypnotising the audience.
Sergeant Major Williams has been bragging to fellow non-commisioned officers about the fine body of men he's in charge of. Then one of the NCOs in question decides to visit the camp. Rangi Ram arranges for him to be hypnotised so that he thinks the men from the Concert Party are crack troops.
5: Pale Hands I Love (30 Jan 76)
Sergeant Major Williams wants to marry Ling Su, the Chinese girl who works for Mrs Waddilove-Evans. She takes him to meet her father, who runs a Chinese restaurant.
Next day, the Sergeant Major gets a death threat from the Black Scorpion Tong. The Colonel orders the men from the Concert Party to act as an armed guard to protect the Sergeant Major. They all spend the night in the battery office.
The following day, the Sergeant Major meets Ling Su again and discovers that he would be expected to leave the Army in order to marry her. He decides that he'd rather stay in the Army.
6: Don't Take The Micky (6 Feb 76)
GHQ Delhi decide that any soldier with a university education can be promoted to sergeant and posted for NCO training. The sergeant major sees this as a chance to get rid of the Concert Party. He tries to talk Gunner Graham into accepting promotion.
In an attempt to convince Graham that being a sergeant has its advantages, Sergeant Major Williams promotes him to temporary sergeant and takes him out on the town. The men from the Concert Party arrange for Gunner Graham to be served with a 'Micky Finn', so that he'll get drunk and be arrested by the military police.
The plan goes wrong and the sergeant major gets the 'Micky Finn'. He goes on the rampage and it looks as if it'll be the end of his career. Gunner Graham comes to his aid by taking all of the blame. At the same time, he makes sure that he can't be promoted to sergeant.